By Jonathan Desaussure
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
Have you ever reached for something you greatly desired, only to have run into unforeseen obstacles? And, as far as you were concerned, there was no valid reason for those obstacles to be in your way except to keep you from the realization of your dream. Yeah I know. It’s painful to be a dreamer. That’s why there are so few in the world. Did you know the dreamer has a positive split-personality disorder? Let me explain. The dreamer voluntarily puts himself or herself in a state of constant turmoil, because he or she spends most of his or her time in between what could be, and what is, both psychologically and in reality. That’s why negative people call dreamers delusional. I’m kidding about the label positive split-personality, but I’m serious about the processes and experiences of the dreamer. As you chase your dream, there will be moments when it looks like you are not moving any closer to the finish line. At those times, you’ll begin to ask yourself questions to the nature of the following. Why haven’t I reached my goal yet? Why is it that this thing called my dream seems to be avoiding me? If you keep asking those questions, or any of that nature, you’ll eventually question whether you’re supposed to have your dream or not. This is the time to watch your thinking.
If you are not careful, you’ll allow your mental focus to become diluted like the rays of sunlight through a magnifying glass that has been pulled out of its focal point. Consider this just in case you don’t know about magnifying glasses. Did you have a magnifying glass when you were a child? If you did, no doubt at some point you took it outside, found some leaves, and moved the glass up and down over the leaves until you found where all the light coming through the glass was concentrated on a small part of the leave? What happened? The light burned a hole in the leaves, didn’t it? It’s the same with your mental energy and unfocused thinking. Your energy will become dispersed and you’ll soon find yourself concentrating on what isn’t happening instead of what is happening, and something is happening. You may ask, what is happening? I had that question too, but now I understand. Personal development is happening, but knowing that doesn’t make the waiting for the manifestation of your dream easier.
Before I tell you how to discipline your disappointment, I’ll tell you why you feel the frustration. Dreamers are in a constant state of reaching. This state is painful because the dreamer is stretching out of his or her current self-identity and reaching into his or her idealistic-identity. Said another way, when the two parts of you are engaged in change that is different from you are at the moment, it feels uncomfortable. If you are a dreamer, you know what I’ talking about. You may not have realized it but you have raised your standards and higher standards require more work, more inspection, and more focus. It’s part of the process. Psychologists say you can’t get away from this phenomenon because your mind has to have congruency with what it thinks it’s supposed to be. To attain those positive attributes you wish to have, you have to grow, you have to change, and that hurts. You have to develop habits that you currently don’t have, and that’s uncomfortable. The growing is part of the process.
Now, how do you deal with this frustration? If you have already started, it’s not a matter of fear because you have started going after what you want. You have fear conquered or at least you’ve learned how to deal with it. It’s not a matter of know-how, because you are, doing it, whatever it is, based on what you know so far. You’ll learn as you go and that’s the personal development. Here are seven strategies I’ve adopted over the years to help me discipline my disappointment.
- Realize you can’t control anything that goes on outside of you. Your job is to hold fast to your actions and expect the results.
Realize that your time table may have been inaccurate or you over estimated your ability. Lean more and do more.
Be proud of what you have accomplished so far. Remember when I said, sometimes we get diluted in our thinking and focus on what isn’t happening as opposed to what is happening? Something is always happening.
Remember even the least little bit of progress is proof you can do it. You have achieved those results because of that word I said earlier: personal development. It’s key. Keep going and growing so you can eventually get tremendous results.
Watch the negative attitudes of those well-meaning negative people in your life. If you let them, they will fill your mind with doubt. Love them but don’t listen to them. Associate with positive people and up-lifters.
Remember failing doesn’t mean you can’t. It means there is something missing. Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve found 10,000 ways it won’t work.”
Keep you eye on the target. After all, that is what you are working to hit. No target, no direction.
All of this boils down to not quitting. Hang in there and keep pressing on. Thanks for the shares and follows. Next time, I’ll talk about self sabotage.
Be blessed every day.