Things do not change, we only change the way we see them.
The last time I posted a blog entry, part one, I talked about mental blind spots and how they may not be serving us well. To recap and quickly summarize, a mental blind spot is something in your psychological makeup that blinds you to the reason you are behaving as you are, thus making it more difficult for you to get the results you want. You are blind to the cause of the behavior because you may not be conscious of the beliefs you hold that are limiting your behavior. Let’s define limited behavior is as follows: one wants to do, is capable of doing, but refuses to believe he or she can do. Sometimes people know exactly why they are self-sabotaging and are okay with holding themselves back. Sounds psychotic doesn’t it? We all have done it at some point in the past. Some of us are still waging war against our old selves. The second blind spot in the journey of success is the self-image. Here’s why the self-image is a blind spot.
A person’s self-image is formed as he or she experiences life. All of life’s events aren’t positive and nurturing. Over time, emotional scars accumulate from traumatic events and theses scars affect current and future behavior. Think back to your childhood. Have you ever been teased by a peer because you were different? You lips were too big, too small, or too pink. You were too light, too dark, too fat, or too tall. It didn’t matter what the reason was. You only had to be the target of the day. Kids can be horrible. Some scars may have come from your family. A parent may yell, “Shut up or I’ll give you something to cry for!” This may lead to feelings of insignificance. A sibling may wish you were dead. This leads to further insignificance. A teacher may treat an A-student better that all the other students. If a person internalizes that attitude from the teacher negatively, he or she may begin to feel as if he or she can’t measure up, or do any better. Negative reinforcement is out there everywhere. The feelings and images that you dominantly hold in your head about you eventually materialize in your physical world. As a man thinks, so is he. I don’t know exactly how this works but I understand it’s a spiritual law. You can’t violate the law. You can only prove it by using it in your favor or allowing it to work against you.
Author and Doctor Maxwell Maltz believe self-image can be corrected. I fully subscribe to that notion. Jean Martin Charcot, father of hypnotism stated, “If there was a conflict between the will and the unconscious, the unconscious would win.” Prescott Lecky’s self-consistency theory states person’s actions, beliefs, and behaviors are consistent with ones self-image – the way one believes himself to be. I’ve watched Bob Proctor, motivational speaker and life coach talk about what he calls the “terror barrier.” In my opinion, his explanation of human behavior related to the self–image is right on. The scenario goes as such. A person wants to perform on a higher level. Once on the higher level, they feel fear and discomfort, and begin to sabotage their efforts and run back to their comfort zone. If you aren’t getting what you want, your self-image definitely has a role in it. How do you go about fixing it? Here are some steps.
- Become aware of what you want to change. This gets rid of the mental blind spot. If you don’t know what you need work on, here are some situations you can mentally place yourself. Pay attention to how you feel as you imagine yourself in the situation. If you feel uncomfortable, acknowledge it. That’s your brain saying it’s not lining up with who you think you are. There is no right or wrong; it just locating a behavior that serves you well in reaching for positive goals or it doesn’t. You decide what to do with it.
• Imagine you have been waiting thirty minutes past your scheduled time in a doctor’s office. They have not acknowledged you. Are you uncomfortable bringing it to their attention? Weather you are diplomatic or ghetto about it is up to you. (Deals with respect)
• Imagine you’ve won 30 Million dollars. Do you give it all away? Why? (Deals with prosperity)
• Imagine you are a scientist. The head scientist is dead and his project has to be finished. No one can teach you or guide you except the dead scientist. Do you tackle the project? (Deals with self-reliance)
• Do talk to yourself and say things like, “If I was meant to be rich, I would have been born that way.” (Deals with Prosperity, inferiority, and unworthiness.)
2.) Begin to change they way you think about what it is you want to change. For example: A thought could be changed from, I hate to exercise, to, my spouse sexes me up good all the time when I am slim and trim. You get the point?
3.) Reinforce what you have changed. Say it with your mouth and see it in your mind until it manifests.
4.) Don’t be afraid to crash and burn. Get back in there. Deal with the fear and discomfort until it disappears. You know what a pilot has to do when he crashes? Get back up as soon as possible. So do you when an event has the possibility of negatively affecting your perception of your abilities.
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Volume two of my fictional book, Determined to Win, will be released soon. Look for the announcement here, my website, and on twitter.
Until next time, blessings and much prosperity.