How to Handle Life’s Negatives

By

 Jonathan Desaussure

 

“Life isn’t about how hard you can hit; it’s about how much you can get hit and keep moving forward.” – Rocky Balboa

(Movie, Balboa 2006)

 

Everyone has negative situations occur in their lives. Negative happens to all of us. There’s no escaping it. There are two things you need to do when you are facing adversity.

Before I tell you what they are, I want to prove it to you with your help. You’ll get it by taking note of the person and his behavior I’ll talk about in my anecdote.

Continue reading How to Handle Life’s Negatives

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HOW TO HANDLE ADVERSITY

By
Jonathan Desaussure

Photo compliments of Pixabay.com

Life isn’t always about holding good cards,
but playing a bad hand well. – Jack London

Two men are sitting behind their desks, which happen to be directly across from one another. Daniel, who is thirty five, wearing a dark blue suit, and a red tie, leans back in his chair and kicks his feet on top of his desk, so everyone can see his black, time-honored, wing–tip shoes. He’s chews on the tip of his pen, as he looks at Henry, who is forty, wearing dingy grey pants, a short-sleeve white shirt, and a clip-on tie.
“You got that position yet?” Henry asks Daniel with a tone of sarcasm in his voice, hoping to knock the expression of confidence off of Daniels face. Daniel takes his pen out of his mouth and says,
“I just want you to know, that position as the assistant director of administration is mine. Don’t you worry about it.”
“Yeah right,” says Henry. “That’s what you’ve been saying for the past two years. They aren’t going to hire you. They haven’t given it to anybody. You should give up. Nobody is gonna get it.”
“They will my friend, They will,” says Daniel. “They have to. Only Slater and I qualify for the job, and I have the most experience.”
“Says who?” asks Henry.
“Morrison,” says Daniel, and then a smug smile settles on his face.
“Morrison wouldn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. Why don’t you just give it up and be happy working along with the rest of us ordinary worker bees, man,” says Henry.
Daniel rolls his eyes, puts his feet down, turns away from Henry, and goes back to work. While he’s working, he pauses a moment, glances at Henry, and mumbles to himself, “I don’t know why I even talk to that guy. He has no motivation what’s so ever.”

Morrison, who is fifty, stout, and clean shaven, walks into the work room. The light conversation and papers rustling in the background fade to silence. All eyes fall upon him. There is a long awkward moment, as he looks back at all the faces that are looking at him. The expressions on their faces let him know, that they know, something is up. He clears his throat and announces,
“It has been bought to my attention that the company is downsizing.” Immediately, there’s a short wave of verbal expressions, contorted faces, and sighs of shock. Henry’s mouth drops open. Daniel is puzzled. His face shows it. He scratches his head.

Morrison continues, “At lunch today, all of you please stop by the personnel office and pick up an envelope with your name on it. In that envelope will be a letter that tells you if you are laid off, or if you’ll get minimal part time.”
“What the hell is minimal part time?” asks Henry.
“Between eight and fifteen hours a week,” says Morrison, and then, he turns around and walks out of the room. The workers trade blank stares.

It’s lunch time. There’s a line of people outside the entrance of the personnel office. “Patricia Slater,” yells a woman from inside the office. Slater walks into the office rather slowly. The woman barks out some other names. Some employees walk out of the office, upset. Slater walks past Henry and Daniel, distraught.
Daniel gives Salter a sideways glance.
“Did you see that, Henry? Slater is balling. Maybe she got the ax.”
“You’re gonna get it too buddy. They are seriously downsizing. That gets cut from the top,” says Henry.

The woman calls Daniel’s name. He walks into the personnel office and over to the desk. With an expressionless face, she hands him his envelope. He takes it, opens it, and looks inside. The woman calls Henry’s name. He swallows hard and walks up to the woman. He takes his envelope and looks inside.

Daniel and Henry meet in the hallway moments later.
“What did you get?” asks Daniel.
“Doesn’t matter. I quit! Damn this crap,” says Henry, and then he slaps his envelope into Daniels hand and walks away. Daniel looks at Henry’s notice. It says Henry will work eleven hours a week. Daniel shakes his head and says to himself, “I don’t know what he’s complaining about. They only gave me eight. I’ll use the extra thirty two hours to look for another job.”

Events like this happen every day. There isn’t such a thing as living in a perfect world. Unexpected pregnancies, sudden divorces, or surprise chronic sicknesses, are among the things that happen us all. Surprise events are the strong winds that blow on us suddenly and from any given direction. It’s just one of those things are beyond our control. You may be thinking, Jonathan, what are we poor souls to do in such when things hit us like that? Just be dust in the wind? Roll over and wet on ourselves? Let the winds of changes take us where they may? I say no! I’ve learned to keep on keeping on. We must remember we always have the power to choose how we are going to respond to adversity. Henry took his news and probably made his situation worse by quitting in anger. Daniel chose to use the new found free time to find profitable work elsewhere. Same situation for both men, but very different responses to the situation, and their responses will make all the difference in their futures. As we move down the river of life, we are bound to hit the rapids at some point on our journey.

Here are five things we can do to help us navigate life’s rapids.

  1. Don’t give into doubts. Once we think we can’t, we can’t.
  2. Decide not to make things worse.
  3. Decide where we want to go from that point and get going.
  4. Decide to be resilient in the pursuit of what it is you want.
  5. Dot the best you can. You’ll get better if you don’t quit.

Join me next time when I share a much needed skill to help you handle the adversity.

 
I hope this helps you and blesses you in some situation you may be facing in your life. Remember, it ain’t over until it’s ALL over.


 

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By the way, I recently released volume two of my determined to win series entitled RESILIENCE. Check it out of you want learn about two characters that were dealt a bad hand and still decided to play to win.

How to give your dreams a chance

By Jonathan Desaussure

To win the game, you have to be in the game.

Have you suffered the disappointment of not reaching your goals? Sure you have, unless you’ve never tried. Some of you are feeling that way now. I had to kick that stuff out of my head awhile ago. None of us are immune to it but we can all do something about it. Take that feeling and squash it. Yes, squash it. We have that ability to squash it.

Do you know why we let those feeling come upon us? More than likely, that feeling is habit from not knowing how to fight it off and lack of awareness that you have been influenced by NEOOP. What the heck is a NEOOP you may ask? NEOOP is an acronym for negative effects of other people. Here are examples of neoop influence. It’s the jealous smile you get from a person who believes you can’t do something he or she can’t imagine themselves doing it. It’s the comments from well-meaning friends and family who encourage mediocrity from you instead of excellence. It’s the sudden attitude of disinterest from the person who asked you how are things going, and you told him or her you were making great strides. They have a negative attitude toward you because they expected you would be floating downstream with them instead of swimming upstream toward your dreams. Once you become susceptible to the NEOOP, then you become your worst enemy. Your psyche is divided into two halves: the win-half, and the lose-half. For some reason, you are rooting for the lose-half. Stop it! This is not the way to do it. If you stay in that mental state long enough, you’ll end up discouraged, which is a poor mental state to do anything. It’s better to fringing pissed off and tell the world go $#@! itself.

Well if you are there, I’m here to get you out of it. If you are not, then don’t go there. That’s what synergy is all about. It’s about aligning you and all your skills and strategies in one direction to have harmony and success. It would be nice to have harmony and cooperation from others all the time too, but that’s not the way it works. Too many people have trivial things on their minds and hang-ups over even smaller stuff. You can’t do anything about what they are hung up on, but you can do something about you. How bad do you want it? Are you willing to go after it until…? Ditch those useless feelings of defeat and disappointment. Get you ass in gear and set your mind on attack! Go after it until you get it. Stop making excuses about the time not being right. I’ve been there before. Do you know what I found out? There is no perfect time or perfect situation for anything, ever. You have to start where you are, with what you have, and you just do it, whatever it is for you. If it’s uncomfortable, fight the feeling and do it anyway. If you fail at it, fight despair and do it again, and again, and again. Let your frustration and your pain drive you to fight back, not roll over, tuck your tail between your legs, and wet on yourself. We create our opportunities and have to work with what we have and where we are. Don’t forget that. I encourage you to get up and get on with it. You won’t live forever. All you have is now. Don’t put yourself down; pump yourself up and get after it.

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Until next time, be blessed.

YOU’LL NEED THIS SKILL TO ACHIEVE MASSIVE SUCCESS

By Jonathan Desaussure

Let me indulge you in a short anecdote to bring light to the subject I’m writing about today.
Clutter

Two men are riding along in a Ranger Rover Sport. The driver throws his tan crushed leather day planner down on the seat in between him and his passenger. The passenger stares at the nice new day planner. The driver notices the passenger staring at it.
“What’s that?” asks the passenger.
“Surely you know what that is. It’s a tool I use to keep my life organized,” says the driver.
“Oh,” says the passenger, and then he purses his lips with a smirk and looks out the window at the passing cars. The driver tries to keep an eye on the road and his passenger. The look on the drivers face is one of pity on his face. The passenger catches the driver looking at him.
“What the hell you looking at me like that for?” asks the passenger.
“Don’t you ever stop and think about where you are going, or what you are doing here on earth?” asks the driver.
“Nope,” says the passenger.
“Not even a little bit?”
“Not even a tinsy wincy bit.”
“That attitude towards things doesn’t bother you?” asks the driver.
“Nope,” says the passenger.
“Why not?” asks the driver.
“They say if you think it’s going to rain, it will. I don’t want it to rain, so I don’t plan for anything, I don’t think about anything, and I don’t expect anything. That way I won’t be disappointed about anything.”
The driver nods his head a little, and with a stiff upper lip, he looks back at the road. The passenger taps his fingers on his legs. He looks at the driver, who has tuned him out at this point. He passenger pats his foot on the floor board to get the driver to say something to him. The driver continues to ignore his passenger. Finally, the passenger can’t stand it any more and asks the driver,
“Don’t you have something to say to me about my attitude toward organization?”
“You don’t want to hear what I have to say about it,” says the driver.
“Yeah, I do. Tell me,” says the passenger.
“Okay. They also say that the container of a man’s life is filled with the manifestations of his thoughts. You have just explained to me why you don’t diddley squat.”

Continue reading YOU’LL NEED THIS SKILL TO ACHIEVE MASSIVE SUCCESS

Faith, the First step in the Success Journey

By Jonathan Desaussure

Faith is our light in times of darkness that illuminates our pathway to success.

It’s been a minute since I put anything here on this blog. I’ve been focused on finishing another project that I wanted to see done as soon as possible. I did achieve my goal. There were times when I thought I would never get the thing done by the time I wanted it done. Murphy showed up a number of times to hold things up, and I didn’t invite him. Just in case you don’t know Murphy; that’s the name given to unwelcomed and unforeseen problems that get in the way of us accomplishing something. As I sat in my office chair with a big smile on my face, savoring the feeling of accomplishment in spite of all the challenges, I reflected on how I managed to get through it all. It was by the use of faith and action. Faith was the key.

If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve no doubt ran into situations that have turned your life, and your schedule, upside down, inside out, or both. The situation types are endless. Any negative situation can be devastating and binding on the human psyche. Here’s how.

Continue reading Faith, the First step in the Success Journey

MENTAL BLIND SPOT THREE — WRONG PRIORITIES

By Jonathan Desaussure

The key is not to prioritize your schedule, but to schedule your priorities – Steven Covey

Today’s blog entry is a continuation of a three-part series I have been doing entitled mental blind spots. Here’s a quick review. I call a mental blind spot a process of thinking one has that prevents him or her from getting the results he or she wants for lack of awareness. My first topic of discussion was fear. The second topic was poor self-image. Today’s topic is about having the wrong priorities. Let’s look at a real-life situation using a fictional character to demonstrate.

Continue reading MENTAL BLIND SPOT THREE — WRONG PRIORITIES

Self-Sabotage — A Bind Spot to Success – Part Two

Things do not change, we only change the way we see them.

The last time I posted a blog entry, part one, I talked about mental blind spots and how they may not be serving us well. To recap and quickly summarize, a mental blind spot is something in your psychological makeup that blinds you to the reason you are behaving as you are, thus making it more difficult for you to get the results you want. You are blind to the cause of the behavior because you may not be conscious of the beliefs you hold that are limiting your behavior. Let’s define limited behavior is as follows: one wants to do, is capable of doing, but refuses to believe he or she can do. Sometimes people know exactly why they are self-sabotaging and are okay with holding themselves back. Sounds psychotic doesn’t it? We all have done it at some point in the past. Some of us are still waging war against our old selves. The second blind spot in the journey of success is the self-image. Here’s why the self-image is a blind spot.

Continue reading Self-Sabotage — A Bind Spot to Success – Part Two