ROSES, DREAMS, THORNS AND OBSTACLES

By Jonathan Desaussure

rosepain

How can nature be so evil as to put such a beautiful thing called a rose in front of us, tease us with its beauty, and then require us to risk our well-being and comfort by way of the thorns in order to hold it in our hands. I can also say it this way. How can nature be so evil as to put such a beautiful thing called a dream in front of us, tease us with its beauty, and then require us to risk our well-being and comfort by way of the obstacles in order to hold it in our hands. Do you get it? A dream is like a rose as obstacles are like thorns. Let’s apply that metaphor to a real-life situation.

Continue reading ROSES, DREAMS, THORNS AND OBSTACLES

Advertisements

Four Ways to Uproot Anti-Success Mentality

By Jonathan Desaussure

If you don’t change direction, you may end up where you are heading – Lao Tzu

Have you ever noticed when you begin to stretch beyond your normal limits of achievement, there seems to be an invisible something pulling you back to your comfort zone? Do you know what that is? It’s your old self showing up to sabotage your efforts. The old anti-success self doesn’t want to step past that seemingly invisible limit to become more than you are. I’ve heard motivational speaker Bob Proctor refer to it as the terror barrier. In short, it’s old programming.

You may be asking theses questions: What is old programming? How does it start? Where does it come from? This programming sets the limits of your self-image. It starts in your early years without you even being aware of it. You watch and mimic your parents and inadvertently pick up their attitudes and beliefs about any number of things. I want to make it clear, that the way your parents, role models, and peers have conditioned you to think isn’t wrong per se, if you want what they have. Their thought processes served them well for their purposes. But for you, if you want to achieve a level higher than that of which you were born into, it will not work. You can’t get new results with old thinking. Here are four strategies to help you get past your old limiting beliefs.

Continue reading Four Ways to Uproot Anti-Success Mentality

How to Defeat the Bane in the Brain

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”

African Proverb

 

Meet Dean and Kalunda.  Kalunda is a seasoned runner with lots of experience.  Dean is interested in how Kalunda is able to run like he does.  He wants to be able to run like Kalunda. The two men are sitting at a smoothie bar having a conversation.  Let’s tune in.

“I should exercise regularly Kalunda.  Maybe I would be in better shape,” says Dean.

“To get results, you need to turn your should into a must,” says Kalunda, with his strong African accent.
“Okay,” says Dean, shaking his head, looking as if he’s considering the advice.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah…,” says Dean.

“Then we’ll start tomorrow.

“Tomorrow?” asks Dean.
“Yeah tomorrow.  Why not?”

“It’s going to be 98.0 degrees out there by 10:00 a.m.”
“That’s no problem.  We’ll run earlier than 10:00.”  Dean put his finger to his mouth, looks away, and thinks.  Kalunda leans toward Dean slightly, in an attempt to regain eye contact with him.  Dean notices Kalunda staring at him, and he know he’s waiting for an answer from him.
“Well, I have to be at work by 8:00 a.m. tomorrow,” says Dean with a tone of uncertainty.

“Still no problem.  We’ll stat at 6:00 a.m.,” says Kalunda.  Dean smiles slightly and thinks, this guy is crazy.  Who runs at 6:00 a.m.?  Then, he shakes his head, yes, and says,
“Okay.”

 

The next morning, Kalunda and Dean meet in the park.  Kalunda notices that Dean has a new pair of Nike Adrenalines on his feet.  He raises his right leg up, grabs his right ankle with his right hand, and pulls his right heel up to his butt.  Then he says to Dean,
“That’s a good running shoe.”
“I know.  I bought them last night.  I’m serious now,” says Dean.  Kalunda lets go of his ankle and says,
“All right.  Let’s go.”
The two men begin running with a gentle and smooth pace.  Dean’s stride is shorter and quicker that Kalunda’s.  The soles of their shoes hitting the pavement give off a gentle erratic rhythm.  Dean hears the wind occasionally brushing against his ears, and then, his knees begin to stiffen.  He holds his pace a little longer, and then his legs begin to feel heavy.  He thinks, what the hell is going on?  This doesn’t happen when you run, right?  I shouldn’t be doing this.  Kalunda feels discomfort too, but not as much as Dean does.  A few minutes later, Dean swears his heart has slipped up from his chest and lodged itself into his throat.  He starts to weave and stagger.  Kalunda notices Dean’s uncontrolled motions, slows down, and says.
“It’s time to walk now,” and then his run stride changes to a brisk walk.  Dean tries to slow down too, but he can’t, because he feels he no longer has control over his fatigued body.  Finally, he stumbles into a slow walk and falls back next to Kalunda.  As they are walking, both men desire more oxygen.  Both men have pain in their quadriceps and feet.  Dean is the only one who feels lower back pain.  Here is what Dean is saying to himself while they are walking.  I’m not a runner.  I can’t do this. I don’t know why I let Kalunda talk me into this shit. I know it’s early in the morning, but it’s still hot as hell out here.  Now I know why I don’t exercise.  I know I’m going to regret this for a long time.

 

Dean’s self-talk is negative and limiting.  This can happen to us all.  It doesn’t matter what the context of the situation is about, it can happen if you don’t watch it.  That little voice inside your head will talk you out of what you should be doing instead of praising you for what you are doing.

It’s the lose-half of your mind squaring off against the win-half.  This is what I call the bane in the brain syndrome.  What’s a bane?  It’s a thing that destroys or spoils the good in something.  Dean’s negative self-talk is the bane of his physical condition and his positive psychology.  Sometimes those negative thoughts make it to the surface of our consciousness and come out of our mouths as speech.  You know what that is called?  It’s called an excuse.  You obviously can see how this habit would be a problem when you want to achieve something.  So the bane in the brain is definitely a problem for achievers.  Do you want o know how to fix it?  Here’s how:

Continue reading How to Defeat the Bane in the Brain

Empower Yourself and Choose a Positive Mental Disposition

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” ― Plutarch

My wife and I were sitting in a subway restaurant eating lunch this past weekend.  The restaurant had those hard yellow bench seats that are connected to each other by the framework they shared.  My wife and I were facing sitting across from each other laughing and carrying on when we observed a family of three walk into the restaurant. They bumped into each other as they made their ways to the order counter.  Dad’s body indicated that he was slightly out of shape.  His flip-flops popped against the heels of his feet as he led his family in.  He seemed obsessively attached to his Smartphone.  Mom possessed an intellectual appearance.  Her hair was up in a twisted bun that appeared to have been blown out of shape by a hurricane.  They had a cute little girl with them.  She was wearing denim Capri’s, a yellow shirt with Love sewn on it in pink letters, and giant yellow shades.  I’ll call her Little Miss.  A minute later, I heard Little Miss throwing a temper tantrum.  I looked up and saw Mom pointing her index finger in the face of Little Miss.  I hoped that the family would sit on the other side of the restaurant because I wasn’t in the mood for all of that.  I watched them walk away from the counter with their food.  They turned away from us, and they were headed for the opposite side of the restaurant.  I smiled.  Suddenly they turned around and started walking toward us.  My smiled disappeared.  Another couple was sitting at the very end of the row we were sitting on, and there were about eleven empty booths between us and the other couple.  There were twenty empty booths left in the restaurant.  Guess where that sat?

Continue reading Empower Yourself and Choose a Positive Mental Disposition

MENTAL FOCUS, THE CURE FOR THE DILUTED MIND

You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks. – Winston Churchill.

When I was a child, a friend of mine and I were sitting on the front steps of his house, talking about what would be the most awesome basketball game ever: the NY Knicks versus the Harlem Globetrotters. His conversation was distant and drawn out, almost as if he wasn’t paying me any attention. I let it slip, because if he was looking at the nice looking girls walking by like I was, it was okay. It’s what little guys that haven’t developed their rap yet do. Suddenly, I felt a sharp burning sensation on my hand. I yelled “ouch,” and looked down. There was a circle about the size of the tip of a pen smoldering. I looked at him. He was sitting there laughing at me and my pain, and, he was hiding something behind his back. I jumped up, tackled him, wrestled him onto his stomach, and pulled the object he was hiding from me out of his hands.

Continue reading MENTAL FOCUS, THE CURE FOR THE DILUTED MIND

CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Three ways to move toward what you want.

The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure. – John C. Maxwell

Perception vs Reality
Fig 1.

Please take a moment and stare at the photo above. Really, look at it. That character on the left. Let’s refer to him as Giangelo. Now focus on the elements on the other side of the building. Do you clearly see the different elements that are contributing to the shadow? Make sure you really see what they are. When all those things come together in a specific way, they project an accurate shadow, but they don’t broadcast complete information leaving interpretation up to the perceiver.  In Giangelo’s case, he perceives a rockin-hot babe that knocks him back on his heels. We are not so different from Giangelo when it comes to our perception of the world. Gestalt, a famous physiologist, said our minds have a tendency to fill in the missing parts to make sense of what is perceived. Giangelo filled in all the parts he wanted, didn’t he? Perception is a strange animal. We can be looking at true information and then turn around and screw it to create a false experience. How can that be? If our world view is the lenses of a pair of shades, then those lenses skew reality and allow us to have false perception. The kind of perception I’m talking about here is beyond the physiology of perception, but the psychology of it. In this case, perception is a state of mental awareness of stimuli that we give meaning to, which determines our reality.  I refer you back to Giangelo and ask you this. Is his experience real? Is it based on truth? Who told him that the information he perceives is real?  His response to the stimulus is real, but his perception is false. False perceptions affect our ability to succeed at a given task we are trying to accomplish. This happens all the time. Have you ever wondered why five people see the same thing and they all give different reports about what happened? It’s because they all have different levels of awareness, different biases, different beliefs, and different past experiences that make up their world view. Let’s look at how a false perception may be formed unconsciously.

Continue reading CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Decisions

The tool that shapes your destiny

If you were a block of stone, and you had an image in your mind of what you would want to look like after sculpting yourself, a set of decisions would be the chisel you would use to chip away the parts of yourself that you don’t want to remain. When the process of chipping is done, what’s left is the work of art you designed called, you. There’s a sense of irony about this whole concept, because you shape yourself every day. You may not be aware of it. You can’t help it, because your self-image has to express itself. You are constantly deciding who you are continuously. Even if you don’t make a decision, you have decided something by default. Some decisions have a minor impact on the shape and direction of your life. Such things are which flavor of ice cream you want to eat at the time: vanilla, chocolate, or chunky monkey. The types of decisions I want to focus on right now are the major life altering ones, the ones that ultimately decide the quality of your future. Can we really change ourselves with our decisions? Can we change the direction of our lives?

Continue reading Decisions